You have just stumbled upon the biggest waste of time ever. You are going to regret having clicked on this link (not because it is evil or anything, but it is the biggest mindmush of them all). The history behind this is: My wife and I were bored during the pandemic, and we found ourselves talking about stupid shit all the time. One of the stupid things we talked about was television show theme songs and which ones were the best. So, I created a massive spreadsheet that pitted all the theme shows against one another. Most of the links to YouTube work, and will play the song for you. I know some need fixed, but I will get around to that when my book launch is over. I also intend to create a section where people can comment on their favourites. I am going attempt that ASAP. 

 

HOW DOES IT WORK, you ask?

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Well, like this. Download the sheet to your own google or your desktop and play along. Follow the pipes by cutting and pasting your round winner in the open pipe to the right, then move down to the next one, and repeat, and repeat, and repeat, and repeat. When you get to the bottom, then move over and do it again, and do it again, and again, and again, until it is five in the morning and mutter to yourself, "why the fuck am I waisting my time with this shit? Where's the baby? Anyone seen the baby?" Then do it again, and again, and again, and if you are brave, and strong, and your aim is true, some hours and hours later you will come to a winner. Only four people have finished this. It's like one of those gross eating challenges where some guy in a shirt with the sleeves cut out devours a hamburger the size of a truck tire in less time than it takes to walk the dog--but for your brain. The rules are simple. 

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1. Discuss with your friends and family. That is half the fun of it. 

2. Do not let the quality of the TV show influence your decision. Remember: Many bad shows had great theme songs. I would suggest listening to every song at least once. (I mean, you've come this far. Right? Might as well really turn that brain to mush.

3. The quality of the theme song is not how great a song it is, but if it is forever tied to that program, if your memories are inspearable, that is a great song. However, some songs need further judgement. Let's take MASH, for example. Great song and likely a beast to overcome, but is it complete beyond the first ten notes? Can you visualize the entirety of the program opening, can you hum it in your head, the whole thing? And remember, it is the part of the song that plays in the credits to the TV show. NOT THE ENTIRE SONG. That is important. 

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Play it with your friends, do whatever.  Get some drinks, have fun. All you have to do is sign up for my mailing list and say: TV THEME SHOW CHALLENGE, and I will give you the link. Just make sure to download it to your own account. 

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If you are interested in getting access, go to CONTACT, fill in the form, and dive down The Rabbit Hole for the biggest mind mush of them all. 

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